We're required to remind you that these strong takes are SATIRE. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional, we think. -- The editor.
Look. This column is going to be a big-boy conversaton about grown-up topics. If you want a puff-piece go read about LeGarrette Blounts off-the-field escapades because thats not what we're going to discuss here. Theres a little thing called the "back" button on your computer and I would suggest clicking it right now if you cant handle some real world, honest-to-christ, rocket fuel and a flame thrower-take type shit.
Look. Your simply not going to find a bigger Kirk Cousins guy than me. I correctley predicted that he was good even when he sucked. I advocated that Washington bench RG3 back in October of 2012. I’ve called him KC Masterpiece, Captain Kirk,and the Graveyard Shift because hes so working class that even his number went from 12 to 8. I bought the man a god damn lunch pail of his weding gift registry. But now I have some serous serous questions about the mans integrity. It all stems from yesterdays Washington Post article highlighting how he and his lovely wife Julie have taken in homeless dogs for the last several years, acting as a foster family until the lovable pooches can find forever homes.
Best case scenario, the fact that Cousins has been fostering so many dogs shows a real lack of commitment. If you have six pets you dont have one. Same type of wishy washy commitment everyone has dragged Dan Snyder through the fire for over the past only 18 years. Mans best friends suppose to be your teammates, not some fleabag mongrel interloper. Folks if I wanted a homeless runaway to stay in my house, eat all my food, and pee on my carpet I would of invited Jim Tomsula over for supper.